When to Cut Out Family

It's not an easy or quick decision for most of us. It's a decision that, if made prematurely, can land us in more sticky situations. If we cut off contact with family and then a situation arises which requires us to communicate with them again (such as coordination on tax dependent filing status), we then... Continue Reading →

Disentangling from Others’ Opinions

I constantly wrestle with self-hatred and shame. The source of most of this is others' words, opinions, teachings, and assessments of me, compounded by my own critical inner voice. As an adult, I still particularly crave my parents' approval. It's painful when they disapprove of something I'm doing (or not doing), or when I know... Continue Reading →

When Christians Beg You to Remain Indoctrinated

When Christians express concern about those who have pulled away from organized religion - concern that we're not "being fed" - it seems what they're often really saying (from a subconscious level of thought) is "We just want to be sure you're getting indoctrinated...that you're vetted...that you still fit into a box we can understand.... Continue Reading →

Spankings and Sexuality – The Damage Done

Trigger and adult audience warning: This article discusses corporal punishment, unwanted sexual thoughts and experiences, trauma, and self-harm. In my childhood years, my parents were firm believers in using a thick, heavy wooden paddle (or a series of strong hand smacks from Dad) to keep their children in line. I have forgiven my parents. They... Continue Reading →

Should Christians Date Non-Christians?

Is it okay for Christians to be romantically involved with those "outside the faith?" Frequently, Paul's words in his second letter to the Corinthians are quoted as a reason that Christians should not marry those outside the Christian faith: Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light... Continue Reading →

Are the Conservative Media Hypocritical?

My desire is not to make Former Captive a heavily political blog. However, a few thoughts were pressing on me today. As one raised in conservative evangelical culture (who voted for Mitt Romney in 2012), and is presently more of a semi-political, centrist libertarian, I feel I have a place to speak to this. The... Continue Reading →

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